


The Second First Kiss

by showmeyourtardis



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, One Shot, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 20:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16353581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showmeyourtardis/pseuds/showmeyourtardis
Summary: Gansey and Blue had their first kiss, and Gansey died. He's alive now, and they're about to embark on their road trip, but there's one problem: they haven't kissed since he died. Surprisingly, it's Ronan that comes up with a plan to help them get over their fear.





	The Second First Kiss

Gansey walked back into Monmouth Manufacturing and immediately clapped a hand over his eyes. It was too late though, he’d already seen Ronan and Adam making out furiously on the couch. He had hoped to never see Ronan straddle another person, but it was too late now.

“Good god,” he said.

There were some obscenely wet sounds, followed by Ronan’s annoyed voice, “Knock next time.”

“I live here,” Gansey said, “I shouldn’t have to knock on my own door.”

Gansey dropped his hand. Ronan had climbed off Adam, but hadn’t put more than an inch of space between them. He had his hand on Adam’s knee. Adam ran a hand through his messy hair but failed to neaten it.

“You have a bedroom,” Gansey said, pointing at Ronan’s bedroom door as it seemed he’d forgotten where it was.

“It’s more fun on the couch,” Ronan said.

“The fear of getting caught really turns him-”

“Good. God.” Gansey said, cutting Adam off. The two of them shared an amused look. Sometimes, Gansey was sure they only made out this publicly because they knew it got to him.

It wasn’t that he hated the idea of Adam and Ronan making out. He was just jealous. Massively, wholly, all-consumingly jealous. Because like Adam and Ronan, he was in a loving relationship. But unlike Adam and Ronan, he had not kissed his girlfriend more than once.

In fact, he hadn’t kissed Blue since he’d died.

“If you and Sargent did this more often we wouldn’t have a problem,” Ronan complained. “Why do you have to fuck off to your cars every time?”

Gansey busied himself pulling at a loose thread on the hem of his polo. While he avoided Adam and Ronan’s gazes, he studied the apartment. It was a complete mess. His suitcase was out on the floor, half-packed and surrounded by the rest of the clothes and books he wanted to pack. His paper Henrietta model was still out but it needed to be either disassembled, destroyed, or moved. His bed was unmade, his desk was piled high with books and clothes and various items. He knew without looking that even Ronan’s bedroom would be cleaner than this.

“We haven’t...” Gansey cleared his throat. He dragged his desk chair towards the couch. He might as well say what was on his mind. He knew Adam – ever the keen observer – would see his worries on his face, anyway. “I mean… we’ve not...”

Why was it so hard to say? Why couldn’t he just admit to his friends that he and Blue hadn’t kissed since he’d died?

It was like the words were lodged in his throat and nothing could pull them out.

“Haven’t what?” Ronan asked, impatiently, “Fucked?”

“Jesus Christ, Ronan,” Gansey scolded, which only made Adam smirk more.

Gansey took a deep breath, and stared at his knees. He felt like he was sat in front of a stern headmaster – if a stern headmaster smirked half as much as Adam and Ronan did.

He spat it out, quickly, “We haven’t kissed.”

“WHAT!” Ronan shouted, making Gansey and Adam flinch. He seemed more horrified by the thought of Gansey and Blue not kissing than Gansey was. “Are you telling me you haven’t kissed her since you died?”

“We haven’t kissed _because_ I died,” Gansey said. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew why Blue was dodging his lips, and giving him hugs when he dropped her off at home. He understood _why_ it was happening, but he didn’t like it.

“Wow,” Adam said.

“Holy shit,” Ronan said.

“It’s not that surprising!” Gansey said, fighting to keep his face a normal temperature, “If you had killed Adam the first time you kissed, would you be making out on the couch right now?”

“Probably,” Ronan said, without hesitating.

“Adam?”

“Well, if I was dead, Ronan could do whatever he wanted with my dead body,” Adam deadpanned. At Gansey’s disapproving look, he admitted, “If I had killed Ronan I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable kissing him again.”

Gansey gestured to Adam triumphantly, earning a glare from Ronan. His point had just been proved. Blue had killed Gansey when they’d first kissed, of course she was afraid to kiss him again. Gansey was scared too, but he’d already died after a kiss with her.

He knew she was worth dying for.

“I thought with all the late night long drives you were...” Ronan made an obscene gesture with his hands that made Adam laugh and cover his face.

“Have you two...” Gansey trailed off. Ronan met his gaze, unflinching. Adam was still laughing. Gansey shook his head, “Never mind.”

* * *

Blue climbed out of her Camaro in the car park of Monmouth Manufacturing. Henry had said he would join them later, because he was still in a state of panic trying to pack for their road trip. They were leaving at the end of the week, and not one of them was prepared to go. Blue hadn’t gotten past the get-the-suitcase-out stage. Henry was still buying clothes, and Gansey had gotten caught up deciding which of his many maps he should take.

Noah wasn’t waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, and he never would be again. He hadn’t been seen since that fateful day their quest had ended, and Blue was ready to face the fact that he’d never be seen again. He was at peace, she reminded herself, but it didn’t help her feel much better.

In the apartment, she sighed loudly and irritably. Ronan unlatched his mouth from Adam’s neck, but kept his hands under his t-shirt. Adam had the decency to look slightly embarrassed, but didn’t push Ronan off him.

“Do you two do anything other than make out on the couch?” Blue asked.

“Sometimes we make out on the bed,” Adam said.

“What’s the matter, Sargent? Jealous?” Ronan asked with a sharp smile.

Blue narrowed her eyes at him. She wasn’t about to admit that yes, she was jealous over how freely Adam and Ronan could make out. It should be her and Gansey making out on that couch, but no. Her lips were deadly killing machines and she couldn’t kiss her true love, because last time she’d seen his heart stop.

“Shut up, Ronan,” she said, instead.

Ronan removed one hand from under Adam’s t-shirt long enough to flip her off, before returning it. He rested his head on Adam’s shoulder. She never would have expected Ronan to be so disgustingly in love, but here he was, flaunting it all over the place.

“You know, other people would like to use this couch,” she said.

“There’s room,” Ronan said.

Blue weighed up her seating options. She decided Gansey’s desk chair was the safest option. Gansey himself was nowhere to be seen, but Blue was sure she heard his voice from the bathroom/kitchen/laundry room.

Adam followed her gaze, “He’s on the phone with Helen.”

Blue picked up a book by her feet. It was called _The All American Bucket List – Things to do in Each State._

“Ready for your road trip?” Adam asked.

Blue swallowed, “Erm, yeah. It’ll be really fun.”

Adam and Ronan shared a look. She put the book on her lap and narrowed her eyes at them.

“What?”

“What what?” Adam asked.

“What was that look?”

“What look?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Parrish, your subtle looks aren’t so subtle. So again, what was that look?” Blue demanded.

Gansey’s voice rose briefly from the kitchen, before dying down. Adam and Ronan shared another look. She got the distinct impression that they were deciding something between them. She flipped through the book until she found Virginia. Unsurprisingly, there was no paragraph about hunting for Welsh Kings in Henrietta.

“What’s the big deal? You already fucking killed him, just kiss him again,” Ronan snapped, finally ending his telepathic conversation with Adam. Blue shut her book, slowly and calmly, despite the overwhelming urge to hit him with it. Adam sighed.

“What if he dies again?” Blue asked, keeping her voice down just in case Gansey’s phone call ended.

“Is that likely?” Adam asked.

Blue shrugged with frustration, “I don’t know. I never had a prediction about a second kiss.”

“So suck it up, Sargent!”

“Jesus, Ronan, if she can’t even kiss him, how can she suck-”

“You two have become fifty percent more insufferable since you started dating,” Blue interrupted.

“Thanks,” Ronan said.

Gansey came out of the bathroom/kitchen/laundry room and Blue’s heart skipped a beat. He looked very Gansey today, in khakis, a pastel purple polo, and matching boat shoes. He smiled when he saw her and Blue smiled back, warmth flooded her chest. Ronan made gagging sounds and Blue narrowed her eyes at him.

“Jane,” Gansey said. “Where’s Henry?”

“He’s coming later. He said something about a denim emergency,” Blue said.

Gansey nodded like a denim emergency was a very real and solemn problem. He crossed the room towards her. He hesitated for the tiniest moment, but Blue noticed. He patted her on the shoulder. Blue cringed. Adam and Ronan shared yet another look.

Gansey cleared his throat awkwardly, “What should we do today?”

“I know,” Ronan said. He smiled wickedly, “We should play spin the bottle.”

Blue frowned at him. She couldn’t look at Gansey. The room got three shades more uncomfortable. At times like this, Blue really wished Noah was here so he could say something nonsensical and change the subject. She looked to Adam for help.

Adam unsubtly elbowed Ronan in the ribs, earning himself a glare, and said, “We could go to Nino’s one last time?”

“No, I’ve got it,” Ronan said. At the matching looks on everyone’s faces, he frowned and shared his idea, “We should go to the Barns.”

He looked at Adam, and another secret conversation passed quickly between them. Adam nodded, “Yeah, we can throw you a leaving party.”

“That’s actually a good idea,” Gansey said, he sounded surprised.

Blue loved the Barns. She hadn’t been there often, and having a leaving party there would be magical. She agreed, even if she was suspicious of Ronan’s smile.

* * *

Hours later, Blue, Gansey, and Henry drove up to the Barns in Blue’s Camaro. She still didn’t have a name for it. She wanted something kinder than the Pig but she didn’t want it to be completely removed from its heritage either.

“Piglet,” Henry offered.

“No, the Pig didn’t birth this car. Ronan did,” Blue said.

“That is some vivid imagery,” Henry said, with disgust.

“Ronan Junior,” Gansey offered.

“God no,” Blue said.

She pulled up to the house. Gansey and Henry were thrown forward in their seats when Blue braked a little too hard. She looked at them apologetically. She hadn’t quite gotten used to the brake, yet. Gansey patted her knee, and right then she wanted to lean over and kiss him.

But then the memory of him dying on the road-side flashed in her head, and she jerked her knee out from under his grip. He looked hurt, but managed to hide it well.

Blue looked at the house. The Barns always looked welcoming and inviting. It was the polar opposite of the Ronan she’d first met all that time ago. With each passing day, though, Ronan became more and more like The Barns – happy, and alive, and open.

The downstairs windows were lit by a warm orange glow. Shiny banners in silver and gold were taped unevenly to the windows declaring the words _Bon_ _Fucking_ _Voyage Blue, Gansey, Henry._ When Blue climbed out of the car, she was greeted by thumping music pounding through the walls of the house.

“This is Ronan’s house, huh?” Henry asked. “I did not expect this.”

“What did you expect?” Blue asked.

“You’ve met Ronan, you know what I expected. A lot more blades and sharp corners for a start.” Henry scooped a fallen plum off the floor, “And a lot less fruit.”

The door to The Barns flew open and a tiny person ran at them. Opal collided with Gansey’s knees almost knocking him to the floor. She dodged out of his grip and ran around and around Henry. On her fourth circle around a very perplexed Henry, she launched herself at Blue, but Blue had a lot of experience with crazy children living at 300 Fox Way. She caught Opal before the two of them crashed to the ground.

“OPAL!” Ronan’s voice came from the house, “These teeth marks better not be yours!”

“Not Opal’s,” Opal whispered into Blue’s hair. She’d gotten a lot better at remembering to speak English, though she still occasionally slipped into Latin.

Opal clambered up Blue like a tree and onto her shoulder. She was surprisingly heavy for a such a small thing. She flopped over Blue’s shoulder with her head and arms hanging behind Blue, and her legs kicking Blue’s stomach.

“Thanks for this, Opal,” Blue said.

Henry still looked perplexed by the child, but he knew enough not to ask about her hooves. Blue, with the help of Gansey, managed to carry Opal back into the house. Once inside, Opal dropped off Blue’s shoulder ungracefully. She landed in a heap on the floor. Adam appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking like he was trying to remain stern even as he smiled.

“Opal, did you bite the cake?” he asked.

“No,” Opal said. She pointed at Henry, “He did.”

“I don’t think that’s true, is it?” Adam asked.

“It is most certainly not true,” Henry said.

Opal stuck her tongue out at him. Ronan appeared behind Adam, looking a lot more stern with a scowl across his face. Opal caught sight of him and leapt to her feet. She ran up the stairs, her hooves thundering on the wooden floor, and disappeared into the darkness.

“You are a monster child, and you’re going to be the death of me!” Ronan called after her.

Opal’s reply was in Latin, and whatever she said made Ronan’s scowl deepen and Adam laugh. Ronan disappeared back into the kitchen, the sounds of crashing bowls and pans came from the room.

“Uh, welcome to the Barns,” Adam said, gesturing at the space.

“It’s chaotic here,” Henry observed.

“Yeah,” Adam said, a hint of pride in his voice.

“Before I sit down,” Blue said, “how many pieces of furniture have you made out on?”

Adam looked thoughtful for a moment. He shook his head at Blue, “There’s no safe place.”

“Ugh,” she groaned.

She walked into the living room, music greeted her by thumping through her ribs and syncing up with her heart. Gansey turned it down before they all became deaf. Balloons and streamers hung from the ceiling. Another banner was taped above the fireplace, _We’ll_ _Fucking_ _Miss You._ Blue grinned at the room, it was not possible for Ronan to be nice without swearing. Gansey and Henry were equally touched by the gesture. Blue could picture the decorating process so well. Ronan dreaming on the couch, Adam and Opal taping the decorations up almost as fast as Ronan could dream them.

It was imperfect and messy. It was from the heart.

“It’s too much,” Ronan said, coming into the room with a frown.

“No, it’s not,” Blue said. She crossed the room and hugged Ronan. He froze under her for a moment before patting her back awkwardly. She said, “You’re not a dick all the time.”

“Yes, I am,” Ronan said when Blue released him.

“Ronan,” Gansey held his fist out and Ronan fist-bumped it. That was all that needed to be said between them apparently. Blue rolled her eyes.

“Where are your knives and sharp objects, Mr. Lynch? I expected more from you,” Henry said, batting a balloon across the room.

“I put them away before Sargent could cut her other eye,” Ronan tapped the scar that stretched across one of Blue’s eyes. She smacked his hand away.

Opal came bounding into the room, like a mini hurricane. She held her hands up for Ronan, who scooped her up easily. She clambered onto his back, like a monkey. Ronan glared at them, daring any of them to point out how cute this whole situation was. Blue held her tongue as Opal wrapped her arms around Ronan’s neck.

Adam came into the room carrying a cake. It was uneven, tilting sideways, and smothered generously in orange frosting, the same shade as the Pig. There was a very clear bite mark out of one side of the cake.

Blue wanted to cry. She loved every moment of this party, every single piece of going away décor that had been dreamt. She felt guilty for being suspicious earlier. Adam and Ronan, and Opal, had spent all day trying to find a good way to say goodbye to them. Blue wished she’d brought a camera.

Opal reached for the cake, Ronan stepped away at the same time Adam moved the cake away.

“There’s enough sugar in this to rot your teeth,” Adam said.

“And give you enough energy to destroy the world,” Ronan said.

Opal giggled and whispered something to Ronan. One corner of his mouth lifted up in a smile, and he whispered something back. Adam grinned at them, before placing the cake on the table in the room. Gansey turned the music back up.

* * *

When the sun began to set, Henry and Adam were busy playing cards. They’d invented some kind of card game that Gansey didn’t understand, but it looked like Adam was winning. Ronan was trying to find the perfect song, while Chainsaw flapped around his head. Opal ran around the room, and jumped up onto the couch. She leapt over Blue, knocking the glass of cider out of her hand and over her and Gansey’s laps.

“OPAL!” Ronan shouted over the music.

“Kerah,” Opal sang, jumping over Gansey’s lap.

Jostled, Gansey put his glass down. He held his hands up to stop Opal but she ignored him and scrambled over his lap again. She leapt over Blue as she tried to wipe cider off her bare legs.

“Okay, Opal,” Blue said, catching her before she could jump off the couch, “Let’s go for a walk outside.”

“Outside, outside, outside,” Opal chanted, she seized Blue and Gansey’s hands and dragged them out the room.

“Uh… bye?” Gansey called as he was forcefully lead out into the cool air.

“Don’t let her eat sticks!” Adam shouted after them.

“Sticks?” Gansey asked in confusion.

“Or rocks, or grass, or...” Adam’s voice trailed off as they were dragged away

Opal pulled them outside with a surprising amount of force. Once the door was closed behind them, she released them, content that they wouldn’t run back inside. Opal galloped ahead of them, pointing at trees and stars and fireflies and saying words in a language Gansey didn’t understand.

Blue slipped her hand into his, and Gansey smiled at her. The sun was setting the Barns aglow. They followed Opal as she bounded across the grass, picking up rocks and flowers and sticks. Gansey was warm with alcohol and love. He loved his friends so much it hurt. He loved Blue so much it hurt. He never wanted this night to end.

Opal dropped her treasure collection and ran off too fast for them to catch.

“Should we go after her?” Gansey asked, panicked, as Opal got further and further away.

“I think she’ll be okay,” Blue said, watching the small dot that was Opal disappear into the distance, “She probably knows this place better than anyone.”

Gansey and Blue stood hand-in-hand in the middle of the field, watching the space Opal had just disappeared into. Gansey’s head was light with alcohol, and music played in the distance.

Gansey twisted to look at Blue. She was looking at the forest bordering the Barns. She wore a dress that could have been three dresses cut and stitched together. Her cheeks were blushed from laughing and singing. He couldn’t wait to go on an adventure with her and Henry. He couldn’t wait to see the world with her. He was alive and she was alive, and they had a future together, just waiting for them.

“Gansey,” Blue said.

Gansey stopped. His head had been tilting down to Blue, his hands wrapping up in hers. He could smell the fruity cider on her breath as it brushed his lips.

He pulled back from their almost kiss, his chest heaving. Blue dropped his hand and the cold air rushed in in her wake, reminding Gansey of the painfully empty space in his palms. He missed her and she was stood right beside him.

“You died,” she said. She didn’t look at him, but he saw the start of tears in her eyes.

Gansey looked away from her big, sad eyes and out across the fields of the Barns. It really was a stunning place to live. Slowly, Ronan was returning it to its former glory, along with himself. Tonight, with music thumping in the distance, the sun setting behind them, and deer peering out at them, it felt more like a home than anywhere else. It felt occupied, alive, impossible.

“Yeah,” Gansey said, because she was right. He had died.

“What if you die again?” Blue asked, softly, like she was afraid if she spoke any louder it would come true, “I can’t do that. I can’t… we can’t risk it.”

Gansey knew she was right, but he still couldn’t look at her. He couldn’t control himself. He knew that if he looked at her, he’d kiss her. He wanted more than anything to kiss her again, in this place, without the end of the world happening around them.

He had died. Nowhere in her prediction did it mention a first kiss. It just said if she were to kiss her true love, he would die. It could mean any and every kiss. Perhaps they were destined to never kiss. They would always be inches apart, so close to heaven but unable to make it.

If he died again, there was no Cabeswater to sacrifice itself for him. Adam, Ronan, and Henry, his magicians, were back at the house. If he died, could Blue get to them in time?

If she got to them in time, would it matter? Would they be able to save him again or had he already had too many chances?

“Gansey,” Blue said, and he turned to look at her. Her skin was glowing in the dying sunlight. The breeze lifted her hair. He loved her. He loved her more than anything, and he wanted to kiss her.

“I won’t die,” Gansey said, and he only realised it was a promise when he said it out loud.

This didn’t feel like last time. Ronan wasn’t being unmade, Adam wasn’t corrupted. There was no river of blood, no end of the world. It was just the two of them, in a field surrounded by deer and the distant laughter of a dream child. He thought of Opal on Ronan’s back, and the smile Adam gave them. He thought of Henry and Blue laughing on the ride over here. They were happy, they were alive.

Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the overwhelming love for his friends, maybe it was the Barns and it’s inherent magic. Maybe it was just Blue. Whatever it was, Gansey felt invincible. He felt alive, he felt real. He felt solid and quiet and happy.

He knew her kiss wouldn’t kill him this time. He knew it like he knew she was his true love. He knew it.

Gansey placed a finger beneath Blue’s chin and tilted her head up to look at him.

“Blue,” he said, softly, pleadingly, “I won’t die.”

He pressed closer. She sucked in a ragged breath.

“I won’t die,” he said again, firmly. A promise to her, to himself, to the universe.

_I will not die here._

“Gansey,” Blue said, but this time it sounded like _kiss me._

So Gansey did.

He kissed her, and the world didn’t end. She tasted like summer fruit cider and he didn’t die. She ran her hands through his hair and he held her waist, and he lived. He lived faster and harder than he ever had before. His heart pounded, his head swam. He was breathless and alive, so alive.

Blue pulled away, her face flushed.

“You’re alive,” she said, breathlessly, surprised.

“Of course I am,” Gansey said, like he’d never doubted himself.

“Kiss me,” she said.

Gansey did. He kissed her until they were gasping for breath. He kissed her until the sun had long since disappeared. He kissed her until they sank to the grass and found pictures between the stars.

* * *

Adam used his foot to push the swing bench on the porch. He sat next to Ronan, pressed together shoulder to knee, and watched Blue and Gansey kiss in the field. The sun had set long ago, and they were still kissing beneath stars and fireflies. Adam knew only half the fireflies were real, the others were dream objects.

Adam glanced at Ronan, and grinned. Ronan was watching Gansey and Blue with a smile.

“What?” Ronan asked, his face immediately becoming irritated.

“You did this for them, didn’t you?” Adam asked.

“Shut the fuck up, Parrish,” Ronan snapped.

Henry came out of the house and leant on the door jamb. He looked out towards Gansey and Blue, and sipped his beer.

“This makes our road trip more...”

“The word you’re looking for is fucking disgusting,” Ronan said.

Adam grinned at Ronan, who glared back furiously. Adam was immune to Ronan’s glares though, he just laughed.

“I didn’t fucking plan this, Parrish,” Ronan said, “I don’t want them making out at my house.”

“Okay,” Adam said with a shrug.

“I fucking didn’t!”

“ _Okay,_ ” Adam repeated.

The three of them looked back to Blue and Gansey, who were now lay in the grass pointing up at the sky. The music thumped behind them. Opal trotted up the porch and showed Adam the collection of rocks she’d amassed.

“Beautiful, Opal,” Adam said. She poured the rocks into his lap and he held off his grimace, “Thanks.”

“So,” Henry said, sipping his beer again. “Did Ronan plan this?”

“Yes,” Adam said.

“Fuck off.”

Ronan shoved off the swing-bench, sending it rocking faster. He marched into the house, shoving past Henry. Opal grew abruptly bored of her rock pile. She stamped her hooves and frowned in an exaggerated, but not entirely inaccurate, impersonation of Ronan, as she followed him inside. Adam watched Gansey and Blue for a moment longer, before standing up and following Ronan back inside the house.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I wanted to delve into the idea that Gansey and Blue might be afraid to kiss again after his death. I also wanted to explore Opal, Ronan, and Adam being cute together. I have never read the Opal short story, so if my characterisation of her is off, that's why. 
> 
> Plus, there's no place more romantic than The Barns.


End file.
